Thursday, August 30, 2012

a rant, a rave, and a reveal

So, this post is going to be a little bit of a rant but I feel like it’s something I need to get off of my chest. It’s not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I felt like something needed to be said.

I always wanted my blog to be a happy place, a place I could go to as an outlet for myself. My creative space where I can share my fashion, ideas, funny stories etc…so typically I don’t rant on here. I try to keep it positive for the most part but the fact is in real life there isn’t always happiness 24/7 and because I live in the real world I’m privy to experiencing things that are not always sparkles and rainbows.

Recently while doing my daily blog reads I noticed a little trend going on between a few of my favorite blogs, Katie from Hems for her, and Molly over at Still Being [Molly] recently wrote about something that I feel very strongly about. You can read both the post here and here.

Now neither of these two UH-MAZING women are a size 4 but I absolutely ADORE their styles and personalities. Katie and I share a love of Old Navy [Still waiting on the sponsorship – ahem!] and Molly and I share a love of all things Target and TriFABB [Shameless plug]. When I read their post I have to admit I was angry! I wanted to know who left such negative comments on their blogs and why. I wanted to hunt them down and ask them what’s so great about them that they can put others down?! Of course I couldn’t. I like to live by a rule my mom taught me from about the age of 2, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then you shouldn’t say anything at all”. That’s not to say we can’t have opinions, or that we have to sugar coat everything but there is a right and wrong way to handle things. Some things are better left unsaid, especially rude things! 

As bloggers we often bare ourselves to our readers, at least if you’re an honest blogger you are. We write post about our personal lives, our happy times, and sometimes our sad times. We make ourselves very vulnerable to basically everyone! I mean our stuff is on the World Wide Web! I don’t expect you guys to like every single outfit I post or make every recipe I say is amazing but I have to be honest in saying I do expect you to be respectful, while being honest. I want you all to tell me the truth but there is no need for harsh negativity. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and colors. Being a size 2 is no better or worse that being a size 22. That’s one thing I love about blogging and reading blogs the most, getting to see everyone’s style! It’s great to see how people dress their bodies. It’d be boring if we were all the same!

So to Katie and Molly, I’m so sorry for the awful comment(s) made and I just want you ladies to know that personally I think you guys ROCK! I love reading your blogs and I love seeing your outfits and you should keep doing what you’re doing. Anyone who thinks otherwise can kick rocks!

In keeping with the bare theme, my husband was kind enough to take these pictures [No worries, I DO have clothes on, just looks like I don’t] I never wear my natural hair on the blog, I usually get it straightened because I wasn’t sure my curls were fashionable BUT if Katie can look kick @$$ in a bathing suit and Molly continues to do her gangsta lean then I sure as heck can wear my curls for y’all!

I hope you take to heart what I wrote, I know you guys have been super supportive and very sweet towards me but just know that our words can hurt others so always be mindful of what you’re saying and how you say it. Let’s keep our little corner of the blogosphere a happy place.


I'll be back to my regular outfit post later this weekend, I just needed  to get this little rant out :o)


  1. I literally just shed a tear. You are amazing.
    Best thing I have read in quite a while!
    x x

  2. marissa i have a little tear in my eye from this. thank you. thank you for writing this. and thank you for your encouragement. <3 love you, girl!

  3. Your hair is gorgeous- I love it :)

    Thank you so much for the support- I agreed with everything you wrote 100%. It's fine to not like something, but you can say it nicely. Apparently people have forgotten how to do this. Some might say by putting ourselves out on the internet for the world to see that we are "asking" for it, but I can assure you I never assumed someone would be so hateful towards something so positive. I was not asking for that. And none of us should deal with that!

    Love you, bliend!

  4. Love your hair. I keep mine straight too but this makes me want to wear my hair natural more often.

    Katie and Molly are awesome gals so people are going to hate for no reason.

  5. Love this:) So true, and so great of you to write!

    you are awesome girl! :)

  6. I love this post and it's so so SO true. It's amazing how cruel people can be while hiding behind a computer screen, and it goes counter to everything that (at least I think) this blogging is about.
    Love your curls, btw!

    Sea and Swank

  7. Marissa, you are a sweetheart.

    I am right there with you about not wanting to have negative things on your blog, but this needed to be said, and you are awesome! I remember when Molly tweeted about that comment, and it was just unnecessary and rude for that person to post.

    Rock them curls girl! Great pictures!

  8. You're gorgeous inside and out. Amen to everything you said above. Much love.

  9. There are some people who mean well but just don't understand how to give constructive criticism. And some people who are just plain rude. and they don't exist solely on the internet.

    I don't expect every one to love everything I post either, and I do welcome any constructive criticism anyone might have.

    It's one thing to say "you'd be pretty if you didn't lean" its another to say "you should try some poses that elongate your neck - I've learned this from all the years I've dedicated to watching ANTM. "

    I do hope that neither of these girls take the negative comments with more than a grain of salt, and I think that you should show off your natural curls more often, they are gorgeous!

  10. So very true, Marissa! Well said, well said. It's really easy to say those kind of things when you're typing it into a computer! You're right about "if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all." When I have kids, I will have to tell them: "if you cannot say talk about it face to face, don't type it at all!"

  11. Oh, and thanks for being one of my inspirations to get back into the blogging world after much slacking off!

  12. I'm puzzled by mean commenters. If they don't like what they see, just move on right?

    It was years before my oldest daughter learned to love her curly hair. Now my youngest straightens hers constantly, even though her natural curls are terrific. Love your hair natural - wish I had curls!

  13. i don't get it either, why would they even say anything at all? i am with you and your mom! on another note, you look absolutely stunning in these pics! seriously...model material!

  14. I'm new to your blog, and love it so far.

    For all of us curly girls out there, I sure hope to see you wear your hair natural more often on the blog. Natural hair is so in right now, didn't you know? lol I can't wait to see more posts from you.